Love:A God Story

I wish that I could remember when it happened.  The moment that I clearly and consciously let God out of my life tried to find him again in a man.  I think I was in High School.  You see, I was that girl who always wanted to be in love.  From the earliest age I could remember imagining my wedding, and not just what it would be like, or look like, but what it would feel like.  To be loved.  The groom's face was never really clear to me, as cliche' as that sounds, only his eyes.  Not the color or the shape, just the depth of them.  It was like I could see right into them.  Like, when I looked into his eyes I could see the depth of my own soul in them.  I could see the look on my own face, blissful and free, very unlike the modern movie portrayals of weddings with a bride wondering until the moment her beau walks down the aisle if he will even show up.  No, my eyes told the story of my heart.  Pure, innocent, joyfully intoxicating LOVE.

  So, from that moment on, judging romantic love in my own life was on those terms.  I would wait for that one look in a guy's eyes, or for the feeling I got when he walked into the room.  If it was like I imagined, I would be in love.  That was trouble in my teen years.  Now, it didn't help that I had a wonderful dad (admitted daddy's girl).  Calm, patient, kind, never one to keep track of former mistakes, punished me only when I really deserved it but still knew what was best for me even when I didn't.  But that didn't help with my "feelings" of delusion.   So how, are you wondering, is having an awesome dad a disadvantage?  And when is God coming back into this story?  As for God, I will get back around to that.  Here are some reasons Guys don't like a daddy's girl.

• Daddy's girls are the girls who want to commit like, RIGHT AWAY so they always scare off the guys.
•  Daddy's girls want a man that treats them equally good, or better than their father treated them growing up which creates some really difficult, subconsciously rooted standards.
• Daddy's girls understand what it means to receive unconditional love from a man, so...they know when they aren't getting it, or they with sometimes test their limits thus causing again, really difficult standards for guys.
• Daddy's girls are shocked to hear that men aren't good.  They are too trusting.  Sometimes they get raped, used, "walked all over".  They are naive to the dangers of letting your heart go.  They never had to worry about someone intentionally breaking their heart (although a girl with a brother is a wee bit more savvy.).
• Daddy's girls typically have warped, sometimes "fairy tale" ideals about love and marriage
• Daddy's girls cry...A LOT, and some guys just HATE crying women.  Those guys are, of course, douche-bags, but they are out there.  And if they are dating a girl who cries not only at Extreme Home Makeover, but also when someone wins Ninja Warrior, their douche-baggery will only be heightened to dangerous levels.
• Daddy's girls want you to chase after them if they are mad or sad, but most men wouldn't chase anything but the bus when they miss it, so that creates an unfulfilled "Knight in Shining Armour" complex in the daddy's girl.  Bet you dudes who happen to stumble here are really trying to find yourself some normal chick who never met her dad by this point.  Those lucky women are like a blank canvas for love...right?                   

Now, the average guy might be thinking that I am totally right on here.  That my "Daddy's girl" theory is what is keeping gals like us right up there on the marital scale with the "Cat ladies" and Susan Boyle.  I thought so too.  For the six whole years that I chased around my own, current version of "the average guy", putting him up on a pedestal, making myself believe he didn't have any douche-bag tendencies, I slowly convinced myself that the reason this guy would never solidly commit to me is because I am a freak of nature daddy-loving weirdo.  Seriously, I even started to hate my dad because this guy would constantly degrade him to me.  Telling me he talked too much and that he didn't even know what he was saying.  It never occurred to me that these qualities in this particular guy were what made him just another average guy, I just went along with what ever my adonis would tell me was "The way it is".  He wasn't like the rest because he gave me the "feeling".  You know, he loved me.  Ha!  Well, I now know, at twenty nine years old, that guys can fake that look to give you those feelings.  Guys can create depth in their eyes like the ocean if it means you'll drown in them and believe that he loves you just enough for you to stick around for a while.  Or maybe, as in my case, for a while at a time.


     A guy would think that a daddy's girl is silly,  A guy would assume she is a bitch, or that she is irrational to want him to love her ALL of the time, even when she doesn't have on any makeup and she has been crying at Ninja Warrior all day long because it is a marathon.  But notice.  If you are thinking that you are a guy, and you are reading this, and you do not agree with this theory at all then you may be just the MAN us daddy's girls are looking for.  I assume that a "GUY" is a boy who reached adulthood in years, but not in emotional maturity.  No guy will even read this far, unless it is to try to prove to you  he is a man so that he can sleep with you (that would be the douche that only looked at my photo to decide if I was credible).  Let me give you a few qualities to help you spot a guy (I know, I know, God...still, I will get to that)

• M'kay, a guy not only knows what the first word in this sentence is in reference to, but he thinks that the movie it came from is funnier than you will ever be because you are just a girl and girls are not at all as funny as guys.
• A guys says things like "I love you" on Monday, then "Why did you make me say I love you, I wasn't ready for that, it's over"  on Wednsday.  *time frame depends on level of guy/boy ratio.  or "Hey, if you weren't such a shit girlfriend we could have really had something great."
• A guy says, "Hey baby, can't wait to see you tonight." ... To some chick that isn't his girlfriend.  Haha, thought you had me figured for a fool didn't you?!
• Guys like to have their friends tell them what to do in any given situation.  The opinion of the close drunken friend with no real direction, or the catty ex who still has territory issues are VERY important to the guy.  
• Guys aren't very good at not flirting and/or hitting on other girls while out with their current partners.
• Guys love to call the girls that they aren't technically dating but could be at a moments notice "Friends" and then tell you "You're a bitch because you never want me to talk to my 'friends' or hang out with them."
• Guys always blame you for their bad mood, but never acknowledge you for creating their good mood if you happen to be magical and can do that at all.
• Guys are mooches, Guys drool

MEN ON THE OTHER HAND (From what I have heard, and witnessed with a few lucky friends, my own boyfriend during the birth of our son, and my own mother up until recently when my dad became a bit of an alcoholic lessening but not diminishing his "Man" qualities as he sometimes talks too much and he can't remember where the conversation was going but I think that is more of a genetically predisposed thing considering I have four lines in parenthesis right now.  Wow.)

• Men make decisions.  Now, I am not saying they are always good ones, but they make them.  They say "I want to..." and then they DO it.  Women can get away with not making decisions because it really is stressful for us and we shouldn't have to if we are in the presence of a real man anyhoo.
• Men aren't afraid to be swept off of their feet in love.  Really.  They want it.  The ugly and the pretty all at once...they posess a "Bring it on, whatever you've got" sort of personality.  Basically, they aren't afraid of our puny little daddy's girl tears.  They can take em.  They sort of like them and think they are beautiful, like the way dew collects on a flower petal.  Even if we are rage-a-holic, crazy, passionate, yelling, screaming crying women...We are still just one hug away from mush and any real man knows it and isn't scared one bit.
• Men wait until they are with other men to talk about the hot girl that they DIDN'T flirt with when they were out with their partner.  Hey, I know that men look.  Women look too.  My mother says "Just because you are on a diet, doesn't mean you can't see what's on the menu."  I get it, men like boobies just like we like tight butts in baseball pants or "emo" jeans.
• Men say  "Hey baby, can't wait to see you tonight." to the woman who they WANT to say it to, and only her.  Even if "Baby" is their daughter and then it's adorable too!
• Men have regard for people's feelings and don't look at mistakes as means for judgement, but as mistakes.
• Men aren't afraid to commit. Because they wont tell a woman they aren't in love with that they love her.   When a man tells you he loves you, he WILL commit to you.  Period.
• Men never fake the depth of their own being.  They are honest, and they are strong.
• Men have respect for ALL women regardless of their age, size or relationship to them.  They believe that all ladies need gracious respect and kindness and would jump at the opportunity to help any one of them.
• Men know the importance of family and do not require someone take a DNA test to be considered such.  The allow any willing party the same love and care that someone of their own blood would receive.  They keep the doors of their hearts and homes open to welcome anyone who may walk through them.       

Now, I am sure that there are many more qualities that real men possess in comparison to "Guys".  Far too many to list, plus, we don't want to make any guy who may be reading this too upset.  My goal here is to let the guys out there know that there is hope.  There is a way for all of those guys to become men.  Now here is where God comes back into the story.  God is the model for which ALL real men are molded.  The divine image of which man is created.  God is the ultimate father, the ultimate bridegroom, the ultimate everything.  The best quality of our previously described "Daddy's girls" is they understand what God's love looks like and what the love of a father should feel like.  They can help the guys by pointing them in the direction of the only man who ever lived on this green earth who they can emulate in order to become men.  That man was the son of the ultimate father, Jesus Christ.  The direct fleshly image of the greatest of great.  If you are a dude wondering if you fall into the category of "Guy" and you would like to be more like the "Men" then just look to him.  Because a daddy's girl like me can't save you, I can only point you to the one who can.  The one who can mold you like clay into the man you have every bit of potential to be.  Don't let fear or doubt enter your heart on this journey.  Don't let your own ideas of "freedom" hold you back from the truest freedom at all, the freedom of knowing that your faults and sins were already purchased by the life and death of Jesus.  Don't let your burdens weigh you down so that you can't love properly.  Give them to God...Be a man!